You Don’t Always Have To Smile

November 13, 2019 – 2013 – you got your braces off – I remember when they first put them on I was seriously worried that you were going to find some way to pull them all off. You had wanted them so bad because you did have a severe overbite but as soon as they put them on you were so upset. I don’t think you realized how much it would hurt. The day you got them off your smile was so big and bright – you were so happy. You loved food – when you were little I would have to stop you or slow you down because you would eat or drink until you made yourself sick. You loved girls and a lot of them were my friends – which made me nervous because I never knew what you would say – Ha! You would feel bad because you didn’t have a girlfriend and no matter what I said you believed no one was going to love you but I knew that was not true – I knew it would happen just not on your time frame which usually was yesterday.
You were in such a rush for everything – generally we are when we are young – we want everything right this minute and then you get old and realize you rushed it too fast. You won’t have that now. You loved music and when you would decide to sing you put your whole heart into it – I loved to watch your face when you did. I loved when you would be silly – winking at the camera or being goofy. Other times you would be so serious and people would say how you needed to smile – including me when it was picture time but the truth is it didn’t matter if you smiled or not because it was your beautiful face and you showed what you felt. You were so honest about what you thought and how you felt. It is getting closer to your birthday and I feel myself start to shut down – in general I have pretty much shut down. I keep trying to plan things and then I just won’t get out the door. I keep trying though – I just honestly do not like this life without you but you keep going – one day at a time. I miss you every single day my Amazing Aaron. I love you with all my heart always and forever no matter what. ❤️🦊2013

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